The opt out edit

Things I’m opting out of this summer to save my sanity as a mom of 3 little kids

It dawned on me on day 5 of summer vacation. Everybody was home, all of the time. I’m down to one part time writing client so that I can be, well, absolutely everything to three little humans all of the time.

I was in the middle of making dinner, pasta dish #3 for the week, with a two year old pulling on my leg yelling “hold me, mama,” and a newly minted four year old and a five year old screaming over magna tiles in the living room. Music was blasting, the oven fan was on and the dog was whining to go in the yard.

And I realized…I am perfectly ok with all of this.

This might not seem like a profound, a-ha moment. But to me it was.

my two year old capturing my only vibe until September ✌️

Because a few months earlier I would not have been perfectly ok with any of it. I would have probably burned dinner, I would have definitely yelled at the dog.

I would have angrily stormed into the living room and told the big girls I was going to throw away the magna tiles if they couldn’t figure it out.

I would have said “I can’t hold you right now!” to my littlest with a too-sharp tone and then let the guilt wash over me as she dissolved into tears.

So I spent a while trying to figure out how I got here.

It turns out the secret to being less of a…umm, monster, is opting out of everything that isn’t actually making our life better.

So, I present to you: the Opt out edit.

Things that I’ve been consciously opting out of to save my sanity as a mom.

I opted out of perfect beach days. We now go to a beach with a snack bar. It’s not the cutest section of the beach, but it means that if someone knocks over a drink we can just go get more. If I don’t have time to pack lunch we can just grab pizza. The snack bar is my backup plan for the days I can’t do all the things usually required to get us there. Which is most days.

I opted out of resetting the house every night. If the counters are sticky tomorrow, Future Courtney has coffee. Current Courtney hasn’t sat since noon and needs to watch another episode of Off Campus with a mocktail in her hands.

I opted out of pretending we eat seventeen different dinners. We’re currently rotating through about four meals. The kids are still alive. No one’s filed a complaint.

I opted out of photographing everything. With my phone now a house phone I am taking drastically less photos.But it turns out the moments I’m most desperate to capture are the ones I’m least present for. The beach looks the same every time through my camera roll. It looks different every time I’m actually in it.

I opted out of having a clean house. We have one clean room at a time. For about three minutes. But seriously, stopping trying to clean the whole house myself in one-fell-swoop or hiring someone else to do it means I spend a lot less time screaming ‘Don’t touch that! The house just got cleaned!!’ And that, friends, is freedom.

I opted out of activities. At this stage, paying for soccer mostly means paying for a tiny jersey to wear while my daughters pick dandelions. We’ll save ourselves the registration fee and pick flowers for free.

I opted out of rushing. I started asking myself one question whenever I feel that panic rise: what am I actually rushing to? So much of the sense of urgency in my mind is just…in my mind. I can let it go. 95% of the time there’s nowhere to actually rush to—you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

I opted out of trying to make summer magical. Summer was always already magical. I was just getting in its way. Now I’m trying to learn how to sit back and let the magic come to us. Turns out that’s when the fun begins.

What are you opting out of? Drop it in the comments–I’m expanding my repertoire.

I’m going to make this a regular thing. Because it turns out there’s a lot to opt out of.